1. Some Anglican principles for burial practices
In my ministry as a parish priest, there is no liturgy that more frequently collides with cultural and social expectations than The Burial of the Dead. Here, the diverse practices of Episcopalians raised in many religious traditions and acculturated in regional and ethnic practices meet traditional forms of worship at a time of pain and distress, and the priest must decide how far to keep to Anglican custom and how far to concede to the wishes of the bereaved, and must balance the evangelical moment in a community facing death with the pastoral concern for individuals, including the one who has died.
The 1979 Book of Common Prayer (p. 490) states: “Baptized Christians are properly buried from the church.” Nonetheless, in the Midwest where I ministered until just a few months ago, social custom and the funeral industry place pressure on families for a funeral home service, and I am grateful for this strong rubric. During a member’s life, the church is the central place of her or his shared life of prayer and the place where (s)he is nourished by the sacraments for the life of ministry in the world. For this reason, it is appropriate that the church, rather than a funeral home, be the site not only for the funeral itself, but for the opportunity for the body to be visited, bereaved friends and family to be first comforted by the community, and farewells to be said to the deceased member. Historically, the deceased one might be laid out on the dining table at home–not acceptable to most moderns; the church is a splendid alternative. Visiting hours at a funeral home tend to feel like visiting a loved one in some combination of a motel and a brothel, rather than a setting where that person was loved and greeted and made welcome in life. Visiting hours in the church may be arranged just prior to the funeral.
Popular culture says that death is an intrusive and unusual aspect of human experience, to be removed as quickly as possible from the domestic setting and mediated by professionals in institutional settings, from hospital to funeral home. For the Christian, death is a transition from life into life, and professional assistance is helpful for specialized functions to do with pain relief while dying, medical investigation after death, hygienic storage and transport of the body, and the like, and of course for urgent assistance when death is unexpected. But when death occurs at home and is anticipated, family and members of the church community may properly perform some of the functions necessary if they feel able–washing and shrouding the body, taking a leisurely farewell with prayers at the time of death and afterward–and they may ask the funeral director to wait until these ministrations are complete and the loved ones are ready before the body is taken away. I have had fights with funeral directors on behalf of families wishing to take this extra time to care for a body at home, but in terms of the grief process such conflicts are well worth the energy.
In the parish I served previously in Boston, we began a wonderful custom of bringing the body to the church for evening visiting hours and having a rota of pairs of parishioners keep watch through the night with prayers and psalms for each hour, until the funeral the following morning. People who had not known the deceased person in life sometimes helped with the watch, and some reported grace-filled experiences of prayer in which they felt a deep acquaintance with the one who had died. Lights burned, and coffee and crackers were available to watchers, who never found the experience creepy or frightening but rather universally reported finding it peaceful and contemplative. We were pleased to have taken back the monastic tradition of caring for our deceased loved ones and liberating them and us as much as possible from the commercial world of the funeral parlor! A few of the local funeral directors became accustomed to our unusual practice and worked with us helpfully.
Popular culture and some of the strands of Protestant American religion emphasize the duality of body and soul, in which the soul is godly and important and the body a corrupt, unclean, and unspiritual thing. At the time of death, in this understanding, it is desirable to get rid of the body as quickly as possible and have no more to do with it. Religious ritual in this understanding focuses on the spirit seen as liberated from the prison of flesh. Anglican theological tradition emphasizes God’s love for us manifested through the incarnation, Jesus Christ’s coming in the flesh of our humanity and passing through suffering and death into resurrection life, just as we also shall be raised into eternal life. Through the incarnation, all the matter of creation has been hallowed, especially humankind in our bodies. For this reason, the body should always be present, when possible, at the final liturgical celebration of life in the Episcopal Church community, the funeral. The body, when it is laid aside in death, is honored in the community for its service and is bid farewell at a funeral liturgy.
In this time of AIDS, many of those who die of HIV-related illness struggle with deep ambivalence about their bodies and sometimes feel ashamed or unclean, or that their disease-damaged bodies are ugly and hateful, or that they do not deserve to be welcomed in the church as the house of God. Bringing the body home to the church is a poignant and powerful sign that the community’s love is not withheld because of AIDS or any behavior that brought infection, that God’s love for us is not withheld because of HIV infection, and that HIV does not make the body impure or unfit to be in holy space. While other branches of the Christian church allow memorial services to take the place of the funeral, it is really only suitable for Episcopalians to hold a memorial service if the body has been lost, destroyed or donated to a medical institution, or by rector’s permission in case of extraordinary pastoral need, or if it has been necessary to hold the funeral of a member elsewhere and a parish commemoration is desired. Cremation, if chosen, should take place after the funeral, and there is no theological objection to it. A note might suggest that, if there is a compelling reason for cremation before the funeral, the container of remains may be placed on a small table at the front of the nave, covered with a small pall (a corporal or even a chalice veil with a cross would be suitable), with the paschal candle beside.
At or before the time of death, Episcopal clergy properly encourage members of the church to consider organ donation, in cases where this is possible. Removal of donated organs takes place immediately after death, and like a post mortem examination (autopsy), it delays a funeral only slightly, if at all. Neither medical procedure prevents a body from being brought to church or viewed at visiting hours.
2. How might the burial rite be amended?
Receiving the body
In the next formatting of the prayer book, it would be helpful for the “Reception of the Body” (BCP p. 466) to be placed at the start of the burial rite instead of in “Ministration at the Time of Death.” Reception begins when a body is brought by the undertaker to the church. It is met at the door by a priest and other members of the congregation, might be sprinkled with holy water, and is greeted with prayers, covered by a pall, and carried or wheeled into the church by pallbearers.
A casket may be open during visiting hours in the church, but if so, it is closed before the funeral and not opened again. If the casket has been covered by a flag or flower pall during transportation, this is best removed at the door of the church, replaced by a liturgical pall, and not used again until the liturgical pall is removed as the casket leaves the church for burial. The rubric (BCP p. 490) does not point out that the pall places every dying Episcopalian under the same sign of the cross, whether rich or poor, loved or forsaken, veteran or pacifist. A note to this effect would help readers of the prayer book to understand why their floral tributes are set aside at the church door. While flowers, the flag, notes or other particularities may accompany the casket to the grave or funeral home, at the church, the common pall says we are all equal before God.
The eucharist
It is generally desirable and helpful for the burial of an Episcopalian to take place in the context of the eucharist. I believe we should not be hesitant to say so in the prayer book. The sacrament nourishes and strengthens the community in its grief and reminds us of the way we are joined together with the saints, living and dead, in the body of Christ. A note might add that in pastoral instances where communion does not seem fitting, it is quite suitable that at the next Sunday eucharistic gathering of the congregation of the deceased or chief mourners, prayers for the dead be included. There is lively debate at present among Episcopalians whether reception of communion should be limited to baptized Christians. A funeral is an occasion where the most generous hospitality seems fitting; at the least, Christians of other denominations should be explicitly invited to share the comfort and healing of the sacrament, and possibly “all who hunger and thirst for God in Christ” might also be welcomed to receive.
Music for the burial rite
The deceased parishioner may leave preferences, and the bereaved family may request hymns. It would be helpful for a list of suitable hymns to be appended to the rite. In this case, too, the priest may be faced with requests for “favorites” from popular culture or other religious traditions– even the deceased’s college football song! I tend to be lenient in this but review the lyrics carefully before consenting.
I find many mourners approach funeral planning thinking they want entirely upbeat and joyful music, while my experience suggests that what they need is music–and prayers–which encompass a range of emotion, including the mixture of sorrow and joy which the prayer book mentions in the note (rather hidden away) on page 507. Mourners often ask for an Easter “hymn sandwich” service, possibly punctuated by “How Great Thou Art,” “On Eagles’ Wings,” or “Amazing Grace” with bagpipes. There is a legitimate desire for more music than seems expected by the prayer book. Options for a communion and postcommunion hymn certainly could be spelled out.
In paradisum (The Hymnal 1982 #354) has been sung for centuries by Christians as the body leaves the church. Out of my admittedly Anglo-Catholic sensibility, I’d love to see it lifted up as a strong option for closing (it is now last of a list of anthems on BCP 500)–even if after a rousing Easter hymn. In the Midwest, most people prefer a triumphant Easter hymn finale, but often out of the unformed assumption that all plainsong is mournful. Perhaps a young composer might take on the task of setting the wonderful words of In paradisum to a contemporary tune. It would also be nice to see the plainsong music for the Bruce Ford “Give rest O Christ” and “I know that my Redeemer lives” (#S380 in The Accompaniment Edition but not included in the pew book for congregational singing) more easily available for funeral use by those with traditional tastes. A set of troparia such as those collected by the congregation of St. Gregory Nyssen, San Francisco, might be included in a musical supplement for funerals, along with some of the hymns favored by particular ethnic Episcopal communities.
The sermon
The sermon at an Episcopal funeral interprets the Good News of resurrection to the congregation. While the deceased person is remembered and her or his life celebrated in it, the sermon is not a eulogy in our tradition. Those who might wish to speak at the funeral or, more suitably, at a reception following it or at the graveside, do so only as invited at the presider’s discretion.
Over time, I find I have become more adamant about this limitation of speech-giving during funerals. If in a congregation the most isolated, unloved member were given as eloquent and careful a memorialization as the most popular, well-educated, influential member, perhaps eulogizing would not turn into a popularity contest–but too often there is no one but the priest, or perhaps a lone lay eucharistic minister, to speak of the faithful life of a shut-in member.
Eulogies nearly always, in my experience, gloss over the imperfections and difficulties of a life to present a false image. The priest can see the lie, in such circumstances, in the pained eyes of some of the mourners. Truth must be spoken when the community faces death–kindly but plainly spoken, for the good of the whole Body of Christ; that is the homilist’s job in the sermon. Truth is told as part of the greater Good News of the Gospel. When this happens, even a stranger in the assembly will sense the integrity of the message and hear that Christ is the truth and life for those gathered. I have had more than a few people join the church as a result of attending a funeral. I would favor a rubric that strengthened the limits on eulogies within the burial rite at the bottom of BCP page 495.
The prayers
Let me note here that new materials for the burial rite of a child have been completed for consideration by the General Convention this summer, along with expanded prayers for the time of death and ministration to the sick, and for the withdrawal of life-sustaining treatment. There is still a need for new hymns for the burial of children. A more contemporary prayer of commendation is included in these new materials, as is a litany which might be suitable for the moving of a casket from hearse to grave.
Collects in the burial rites I and II offer a rich array. I would welcome some additions that might be used for the burial of an unbeliever, for someone fallen away from church, and for funerals where half the mourners are from another faith tradition. There might be additions, too, that address sudden and violent death, protracted miserable death, or circumstances where mourners are extraordinarily angry about the death, or at the one who has died. A prayer suitable for a memorial service for one who has donated one’s body for medical research would be useful.
“An Order for Burial” (BCP p. 506) allows much flexibility for services, but the language of the prayers in the two burial rites does not provide for interfaith funerals and other pastoral occasions where spaciousness of language would communicate Christ more effectively than reduplicated trinitarian doxologies. An alternative form of prayers of the people might be inserted to meet such needs. A dismissal from the Committal might be added:
Presider: Go in peace; the souls of all who die rest secure in the hands of God. People: Thanks be to God.
Perhaps such prayers might acknowledge respect for the faith of the one who has died or awareness of the lack of faith, and respect for the differing faiths of those gathered, while bespeaking the Christian community’s hope for those who die. Suggestions for psalms and scripture readings might also be expanded to include material that addresses a broader range of pastoral complexities than those on BCP pp. 494-5 and that makes explicit for the rule-observing preacher and officiant that those listed are suggestions not prescriptions. At the grave
Most priests have found themselves at some time using “The Committal” with some added prayers as the only funeral service for someone who has died. Perhaps mourners and deceased are barely connected with a congregation. Perhaps a person died far away and a funeral was held there, but the body returned to its hometown and home community for burial; a duplicate burial rite seems no more proper than a duplicate wedding for someone married away from home, yet the home congregation needs a chance to mourn and say farewell. An expanded set of committal options might include prayers which acknowledge the connection of the body of Christ where the funeral took place with that gathered for burial: for example, “From the hands and prayers of our sisters and brothers in Christ in Freeport, Maine, we receive the body/ ashes of our sister in Christ, N.____, for burial. May God comfort all who mourn and strengthen our bonds of love in the Body of Christ.”
Committal prayers might include some suggestions for expansion of the graveside service. I would also like to see a prayer for the burial of an unknown person added. Though most Episcopalians might seldom hear it used, the presence of such a prayer would remind the church of all those who die unidentified and for whom the tender ministries of clergy (particularly hospital chaplains) are called upon.
I would also welcome a short form of committal designed for military burial, where a funeral has taken place at the church, a small party of mourners accompanies the casket to the military cemetery, and there is a fifteen-minute slot for prayers in the chapel there, but mourners cannot go to the graveside and must leave the casket sitting in the chapel. Here some prayers and hymns tailored for a veteran or veteran’s spouse would be helpful, displaying the flag is quite suitable, and the sprinkling of earth with the “dust to dust” prayer does not fit at all.
On the other hand, encouraging Episcopalians at civilian burials to consider the practice of Jewish mourners of having the casket lowered into the grave and together shoveling soil to begin burying it, or at least taking a turn to throw a handful of soil into the grave, would, to my mind, greatly enhance the grieving process at burials. In Missouri, a priest must often argue forcefully with the funeral director to have an inch of earth left uncovered by Astroturf so that she may (with purpose-brought trowel) cast earth on the casket at the words of committal. Bringing a baggie of nice tidy beach sand does not make graphic (sacramental) the returning of the body to the earth in the same way . . . but then I favor real bread over wafers for communion, too, that we may do what we say in Anglican worship.
I hope these reflections, unabashedly opinionated as they are, will open dialogue about creating broader options for Anglican burial as we begin the next millennium in the American church.